Let me start by introducing myself. I am a 24 year old brand new mommy to a baby girl, Karla. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for just over 2 years now and we have been together for 9 1/2 years. I found out I was pregnant with my daughter December 2008 and we welcomed her into this world on August 11, 2009, 8 days before her due date. My labor and delivery was a breeze and after 6 hours of labor, which I didn't feel a thing, I pushed for 20 minutes and out she came. Oh... and my husband almost missed the birth, but that's another story for another day.
I am a full-time working mom but got to enjoy the first 8 weeks of my daughter's life at home with her. We spent every waking (and sleeping) moment together. We are best friends and are so in love with the same man... my husband and her daddy :) We have realized that people weren't kidding when they say 'you will forget what life was like without her'. It is true. We never thought we could love another person this much and it really is that overwhelming kind of love... We look at her and our hearts melt every time she smiles.
Okay, enough of the mushy gushy stuff. On to the tough stuff.
The hardest day of my entire life was on October 5th. Karla was about 8 weeks old and mommy had to go back to work. I thought I would be ready to go back after being home for 8 weeks. I never thought that I could enjoy being at home day in and day out. I thought I would lose my mind. Wrong. I would rather give birth 10 more times than to have to re-live October 5th. If it were just a one-day horror, it may have been a different story.
We were planning on taking Karla to a babysitter whom we'd met once but seemed like a nice enough lady with lots of experience and recommendations. It seemed like a miracle we found someone close by (only 2 miles up the road) and had an opening. I convinced myself months earlier this would be fantastic and we were lucky. One week before returning back to work, this mommy had a breakdown and it all of a sudden hit me how badly I never ever wanted to leave my daughters side. I suddenly HATED the fact that Karla would be cared for by a complete stranger and was not going to be getting 100% of the attention like my girl deserved! That was it...I decided I was quitting my job. After all, who needs a house to live in?
My mother-in-law happened to call me in the middle of my emotional meltdown. I simply begged her to quit her job and watch my baby. I thought this was far fetched at first and didn't think there was even a chance this would be possible. She and I discussed it further and she said she'd talk it over with my father-in-law that night when he got home from work. After much stress and praying, we figured out a plan so that she could babysit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO... the worse part was the night before I went back to work. It was horrific and my delivery was easier than the feelings I was experiencing that night. I went to work the next day with only one meltdown at the office. Thank goodness for my wonderful husband and co-workers who are extremely supportive, they made it much easier on me. But most of all, thank goodness for my mother-in-law who is my life saver. We are so grateful for her being able & willing to watch our baby girl. It is so reassuring that Karla is with someone we know, love and trust. It is also very exciting when grandma sends me pictures during the day :)
I am going on my third week back to work. And as a nursing mommy, it is like working 2 full-time jobs......but that also, is another story for another day.
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